06 July 2009 Monday, July 06, 2009
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My Ex's girlfriend cant stop brigning me down.My Friend's ex's Bestfriend is being damn sarcastic.My so called 'I like him' has decided to ignore me.I cried my heart out yesterday because of something stupid that Ive done.And its Really stupid.I blame the people around me.The people that I care most.The way they act.The way they treat me.The way they hurt me.The way they bring me down.The way they kill me, mentally.The way they make fun of me.That made me changed My Stupid Attitude,On becoming a USELESS STUPID MEAN BITCH !And in the end, I just blame myself for NOT being myself.Not being who I really am, or rather, WAS.Now, sitting, still crying hard in the heart.It doesnt matter who cares, because I know,No one does.Still searching my soul.My lost soul.Nurakidah.Where are you ?I need you back.'Influenced-virus' has taken over me.I trusted so many people when I still have my trust.Now, Ive lost my trust on everyone.Ive even lost my trust on myself.I dont trust myself.The AfterKid promised me that she will change and she will fight for her rights.But she entered the wrong Battlefield and lost the war.She's not pulling herself together now.So she's similar to the dead.She has lost the one she treasured the most.The Four people mentioned.The first, Ive lost him for good.I can never be his friend ever again.With due respect of his girlfriend.Second, I know you still care alot for me.But I really dont know why you left me.I miss you so much.Third, Its obvious, its over.Forth, youre beginning to ignore me.Its my behaviour right ?I know.But you made the right choice.Im just a Slut.Continue doing your daily life,You know what I mean.I just left like that just now.It may sound really stupid,But for someone who knows me the best knows that,I'll turn Very very moody when I'm very hungry.Still I know its not the best reason.But, Its over already.God is fair,HIS punishment is an immediate one this time.Im hurt.And Ive lost Every single thing.Including myself.Sitting here,Thinking of the mistakes that Ive done.The Decisions that Ive made.And the Regretions of my decisions.Cause now, no matter what I do,No matter how many sorries I say,Its not going to make any difference.Nurakidah is dead.Maybe still out there, but she doesnt want to forgive me.AfterKid lost the war and is dying.She's very weak to pull herself back.My name is___________.I cant fill in the blanks.Labels: I just lost a part of me and i dont know who i am now.
